Here we are again—‘tis the season for hauling out ye olde holiday platitudes. What’s your go-to during the most wonderful time of the year? Are you a safe, “Happy Holidays” kind of person? Maybe “Seasons Greetings” is more your style? As coastal elites, we enjoy a good “Peace and Joy!” But we can also respect the hardliners who stick with “Merry Christmas” regardless of who they’re endowing their wishes upon, or where. (We’re looking at you, Cracker Barrel.)

As writers, we appreciate the power of words. We adore words. We worship words. We live and breathe words. From the sweetest letter to Santa to the silliest songs (who wants a hippo for any holiday?), words bring us all together and make the holiday season resonate deep in our hearts. So it’s not out of disregard for words that we make this humble request, but rather out of our heartfelt love for them.

Please, don’t waste your words this season by throwing around tired, overused greetings. Why not get creative with your holiday wishes, and say what you really mean?

For example, instead of wishing the parents at your kids’ school Happy Holidays, how about, “Happy hemorrhaging your hard-earned cash!” Rather than sending your co-workers Season’s Greetings cards, how about, “Safe over-eating/aggressive-drinking to numb your emotions and survive a week with your relatives!” While we’re at it, let’s just go ahead and replace “Peace and Joy” with “We’re all in this together—let’s hunker down and get through it, shall we?”

Here are a few other new holiday wishes we’d like to spread. Feel free to go forth and use them wisely.

Late November: Here we go!

December 26: Merry day after xmas—you did it! (..or maybe just Shwew.)

January 1: Happy week of pretending you’re turning over a new leaf!

(Once again, a simple shwew does the job.)

So, direct from the WriteBrand team to you and yours: Dig in, drink up, and don’t let the Scrooges get you down!